christmas

this year my christmas was really awesome.
we had a surprise this year!
Steve and Allyson came into town.
i got a laptop, and a bunch of movies. family got a wii

ive been spending alot of time with family. which is pretty awesome.
game nights galore!!! so much fun.

im official

me and my mom are now official BeautiControl consultants.
and its the shizzizzle! lol
awesome stuff. and in home spas rock my sock!

my birthday....

was not the typical fun 18 birthday. cause i rarely stepped out of the house.
i woke up and wanted my dad to fix me breakfast. but NOOOO SAM needed to be down on main street and dad STAYED with her! so i didn't get a breakfast.
there was a parade going on down on main. so after me and my friend and my cousin got birthday donuts instead of a cake we took those down and shared with them down there. it was nice. didn't stay to long down there it was freezing!

then that night we went to the mall. shopped around. got some cute clothes. then we met up with a couple of people and saw, yes we did it again, twilight. my number 3 showing ha ha!
that was something fun. then after the movie, at 930 my friends parents NEEDED her home to put up the tree because they didn't know how to work it. so i drove her home. and on the way it decided to SNOW! i hate the snow! and above all things i hate DRIVING in the SNOW!!!

i drove so paranoid out there. was NO way i was going to speed above 50mph on the highway. in rain/snow. so i didn't get home till around...11 at night cause i had to drive my cousin home who too lives out there, to switch with my aunt for my brother.
thankfully my aunt is awesome and she said a prayer for me. i got home safely. got to midrivers Dr and took every dang back road i knew of from there on home.

i picked up my friend on the way. and she stayed the night and then went to church with us. that was a fun night. stayed up till 430 am. when the snow flakes came falling down as big as golf balls. yes i know what I'm talking about. i was not delusional. i was serious. so we were like. im going to bed.
that was my birthday. no party. no gifts cause half of my family and friends forgot. even tho i was hinting the week before. but i dont really care. i saw twilight again. stuffed my face on thanksgiving and then blew up on sunday night.

the movie

for all those who DIDNT see twilight opening night.
it was amazing!!!!
me and my friends went to the theater at 8:30pm
and sat in the front of the line till they let us in at 11!!
it was fantasmagoric!! lol
edward was amazingly sexy so was carlisle...OMG WAS HE HAWT!. jasper i would marry. james had a great body haha sorry. and jacob...well he was weird..

TWILIGHT!!!

me and my 2 friends got our midnight release twilight movie tickets on saturday!
GAH!! IM SO EXCITED!!

im so over it.

well my experience in the past has been nothing but negative.
but its ok. cause i just dont think about him anymore.
im over it.

the words from katharine McPhee's song over it...you should listen to it.
cause thats my song to him...
is like so...whatever...

I'm over your lies
And I'm over your games
I'm over you asking me
When you know I'm not okay

You call me at night
And I pick up the phone
And though you be telling me
I know you're not alone

Oh, and that's why
(Your eyes)
I'm over it
(Your smile)
I'm over it
(Realize)
I'm over it
I'm over it
I'm over...

Wanting you to be wanting me.
No that ain't no way to be
How I feel, read my lips
Because I'm so over (I'm so)

Moving on, it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first, a little bit
But now I'm so over
I'm so over it

I'm over your hands
And I'm over your mouth
Trying to drag me down
And fill me with self-doubt

Oh, and that's why
(Your words)
I'm over it
(So sure)
I'm over it
(I'm not your girl)
I'm over it
I'm over it
I'm over...

Wanting you to be wanting me
No that ain't no way to be
How I feel, read my lips
Because I'm so over (I'm so)

Moving on, it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first, a little bit
But now I'm so over
I'm so over it

So over it
Ohh

Don't call, don't come by
Ain't no use, don't ask me why
You'll never change
There'll be no more crying in the rain

Wanting you to be wanting me.
No that ain't no way to be
How I feel, read my lips
Because I'm so over (I'm so)

Moving on, it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first, a little bit
But now I'm so over
I'm so over it

I'm so over it
I'm over it
Wohh yeah

Wanting you to be wanting me
No that ain't no way to be
How I feel, read my lips
Because I'm so over (I'm so)

Moving on, it's my time
You never were a friend of mine
Hurt at first, a little bit
But now I'm so over
I'm so over it


words speak true....

Emmett James

well i told him....

i was hanging out with my friend maggie last night down on main street. and we hit the park and i had this overwhelming feeling to tell chris that i liked him... i didnt know when the next time i was going to see him but i felt that i really needed to tell him...

but i wish now i could go back in time and erase me even thinking i wanted to tell him...

he said "well i think your a great girl, but i think its best if we remained friends"

thanks,man....
i told him i just wanted to know. it wouldnt hurt me what he said...
and well 97% of me expected him to say that he didnt feel the same way.
the other 3% was just hanging on that already fallen star that i felt i couldnt let go of.
but now i have let go of that star. i am never wishing on fallen stars ever again.
i cried my eyes dry last night after i got home.
i couldnt even go into seminary. i sat in the hallway and listened to the lesson. but i couldnt bare to go into the room. there was way to many people and i couldnt handle it.

so school today was a pain. i felt like one of those people who wants to eat their weight in ice cream and pizza. much like in the mormon version of pride and prejudice. i wanted to just run out of school...

the finish

well i gave my baby back on monday.
doesnt that sound horrible!!
well it was. i now know that i am totally not ready for kids for a long time!!!
well i suppose i have known that for quite some time.
but it really hit me with this kid. but thats the point.
saturday and sunday surprisingly he was much more quiet than usual. thankfully.
but he didnt follow the schedule that he started on. so i was constantly changing something.

and saturday i went to my aunt heathers for a scrap-booking party!
awesome right?
well i had to bring him with me.
thankfully he didnt cry as much as he usually did. and he made cueing noises all day.
sunday morning i was fed up. i had NO sleep. cause apparently he was much better and slept during the day but when it came to night he was crying every 5 minutes for something. so i didnt go to church. i was already sick from tuesday, plus the added on loss of sleep, didnt help me much. although my mom told a few people that i was bringing a baby to church and they were going to look for me. oh well.
come monday morning i was still sick so i got to stay home. but there was no way i was going to keep the baby an extra day. MAN DONT I SOUND HORRIBLE!
my teacher said that i was suffering from post-pardom depression. and i was like oh heck yes i was. i wanted to shake him crazy! lol
but i didnt i was a nice mom. after i came back home. i kept hearing the baby cries and noises in my head for the rest of the day. and for the next 2 days. i was going nuts!!!
but i hopefully got a good grade. haha.. ill put pictures up as soon as i can. they are cute. and weird. cause its me and i dont look good in any picture im in. sorry.

holy geez moses....

i have a baby. as of yesterday. he is 5lbs 4oz. and his name is Emmett James.










NO HE IS NOT REAL!!! but he is pretty dang close. hes one of those special babies that at the end off the week the child development teacher strips them down to nothing and plugs a cord into their backs to charge them for the later victims the following week.. haha. really its not as bad as people say it is...so far anyway..

we have schedules for the babies of a time range of when they are most likely to go off and how long, on average, we are supposed to care for them. so its not to bad. thursday and friday we know our schedules. but saturday sunday and monday we dont know a thing. so its a wing it situation. and im up for the challange. i hope. haha

i like the project myself. and i know that babies dont run on schedules, but these schedules are based off of real babies average records. so its somewhat accurate i suppose. haha. i dont have any pictures right now. but my parents have been snapping away with the pictures. from the day i brought him home until during halloween. which this year i wasnt able to participate in and i was upset. i wanted one more year before college to go trick-or-treating. dressed up and walking around with my friends. but i couldnt. but im glad that i stayed with my baby. cause if i didnt i would be in HUGE trouble. lol

i will eventually get pictures up. and i will blog more about my day with the baby everyday that i have him.

Thursday night.
HE WAS A BEAST!! i got less than 3 hours of sleep. and i need sleep or i get really really sick during the day. like to the point where i get sick to my stomach bad, head aches like my moms and other odds...
he woke me up at 1130, midnight,2,3, and 415. i couldnt go back to bed till 5. and there was NO way i was going to seminary.

tonight..
i broke his neck. cause these dolls are old so they are fragile from previous years.
but so far hes been mostly feeding or fussy or burping. Hopefully if the schedule works he will sleep till 5 am and i can get back to feeling some what better.
cause right now i still have the headaches, and i have a hugely sore throat.

GAH!! and TAPS is on tonight. till 1 am live halloween special at Fort Delaware in Delaware City. its a former Civil War post. used to harbor many POWs and others during the war. and let me tell you within the first hour we heard some seriously demonic voices saying " your not supposed to be here" and me and mom FLIPPED OUT!! lol good times good times..

my page

is freaking messed up.
i tried to get a new layout cause it was messed up
and now i cant fix it!!
can someone who has more experience help me?
i cant find a layout that i like online. and i cant stand the ones on here.
im about to leave for young womens...=[
so i need something soon.

please send comments if u can help

purple heart

so while the kids went to massac....WOOT!!!... daddy and mom went to a military meeting and DAD GOT HIS PURPLE HEART FINALLY!!! go daddy!!!

they seemed to have a great time. and the guys were awarded many different things such as clocks ...."second timers" and ordered rings..

<<<>

josh eckhoff>>

<<>

PURPLE HEARTS

Specialist Chappel and Specialist Pavon and SFC Dulaney

Massac 2008

images tell a story far better than words.

rumor has it

that he likes me back

but we wont go into details this early

wait till after school and ill blog all about this weekend.
XD

sooo its school

hey everyone. i'm at school. haha we are in the writing lab and we are supposed to be blogging
so i totally am. haha. today is a long day. but the classes feel shorter then they have been
maybe im just so looking forward to this sweet awesome weekend down at Massac!!
yes ladies i will have pictures....its going to be a weekend filled with chris
so im sorry if there is to much of him. but its a weekend without
my parents. and i am looking forward to the fun activities with no rules this year. haha
no ill be good. we got adults to be our parents this weekend. but its still going to be fun.
wish mom and dad could come. it wont be the same without them.

saturday spectacular!!

so this weekend was by far the worst weekend in its own ways and the most amazing in others....friday me and sam and meagan drove down to hartford illinios, and that was the worst.

we were told that it was a school day and that we needed to go down there and help grandpa out with all his display and other odds and ends... so we had to go down. we sat there. BORING!! so when that day ended i was far too happy. dad called me that night and said that he and mom were not coming down that night soo..i bounced up and was like "im going to go sleep in mom and dads bed" and sams all like " no way. i just got comfortable" but i got her to do it with me...so we go in there. and we are laughing cause of something that was said, then geoff, my date to homecoming, pops his head into the tent and was like "stop laughing" really loud and it freaked us out...We just laid there talking, and he walks in carrying his bedding and tent poles and canvas and was like" you know i was supposed to sleep in here" and me and sam got serious and quiet. then he left. when he came back, hes like oh man am i tired and lays across out feet. im like if you want to sleep in here then we can leave and hes like no i want to be the dog and lay across your feet. i was like ummm ok...weird..

so anyway the next day is what really had me going. sorry i took so long to get to it. this is like my diary and i write stories. so get used to it....

chris,zack and evan came over earlier in the week to pick up zacks new musket. and i had to run out to door to get to church for young womens. wish i could have stayed home to chill and hang out but...

chris needed a ride down to the event so he asked mom for a ride. so she picked him up on saturday morning when she came down. so me being as excited as i was couldnt sleep hardly as late as i would like to. but i still made sam get up and hepl me get dressed.

when chris and mom finally got there i was helping sam get dressed. he and mom walked in. he just kinda stood there and looked confused..cute..but confused. then i was like if you want we can leave and do this outside. and his face got brighter. so we left.

sitting over by vicki and emily. talking about the halloween dance that night. and i was in between choices of what i should be. and chris chimes in, "why dont you go like that?"

and i felt like jelly when he looked at me and said that...

but in the end i really wanted to say that i spent my entire day talking to chris and being close to him. he picked out my halloween costume. and told me i made a cute pirate for the fashion show that vicki was putting on.

he wanted a bar of vickis soap, but couldnt get one because he was out of money. and kept talking about getting one. so mom volunteered me to loan him some money to buy a bar. but instead vicki gave it to him for free.

at the end when me and sam needed to get leaving, he asked me if i could give him a ride home.

i felt like jelly all the way home. it was nuts. and wanna know something funny

the first song that came on the radio was "its getting hot in here"..or whatever its called.

and i go " haha lets not take off all our clothes"

and chris goes " idk about that but im kinda all for it right now out in this heat."

i just sat there.

the ride to his house was long, but it wasnt enough for me really. haha

so thats why saturday was so spectacular to me...sorry for the story

homecoming 2008

one night to tell the rest

saturday was HOMECOMING!

Was this past Saturday for francis howell north! The homecoming dance this year was a blast.
i got my nails done with one of my friends on friday. then saturday i got all pretty and sparkly before my date showed up. yes i actually had a date this year. although he was a bummer for the dancing part of the night and the talking part of the night. haha. Me and a few of my friends met at my house and waited for my date to show up...

{ story of how i got my date: we were at Jubilee State Park for an event last weekend in september. and me and my parents were talking about a date and who i should ask. well i was like ill ask chris! but then thought that would be to much to fast. so i didnt. so then they sugested that i text geoff to see if he would. and well shock of all shocks he said yes. hes like what time? when? and stuff like that. then...he was like what should i wear and i was like dress pants and a button down top. and hes like what about a kilt? and i was like OMG!!! it was weird but he did wear his traditional kilt. and surprisingly people complimented him.}

anyway... we went to the lewis and clark restaurant on main street for dinner after we took pictures at my house. it was a very nice restaurant. the food was amazing! the dance started at 7 but that didnt stop us from arriving late. we got there about 9. haha! but hey its ok. the dance still had an hour and thats all we planned to attend in the first place.. Geoff, my date, didnt hardly talk at dinner. and barely even moved at the dance. I tried to dance with him. or tried to make him move some what.. but he said he wasnt much of a dancer unless he had a beer in him.. BOINK!!

so that was a bummer. but i didnt let it bother me to much. cause i got my party on! i was

dancing with all my friends and having fun. i tried to include him. but he didnt move...ugh

finally at the end of the dance, geoff was beat just from his long day at work. so he decided that he would drop me off at home and then head out and

sleep. well that was fine with me. he said he was tired from the start of the night. so he dropped me off and i went out to get ice cream and hangout on main street with my friends. we went to picassos and got blueberry nudes. which are blueberry smooties thingys. no coffee and are amazing... anyway. so we stayed down there for about an hour walking around. and we had some hot guys check us out. haha but that was fun. that was my homecoming. my last homecoming anyway...

target applications

I said:

And my mom said:

Soooo i applied at target today. and hopefully i can get hired. cause i need the job BADD!!

but wish me luck that i get the job cause they are hiring for the christmas season...WOOT!!!

Ko Ko Mah indiana sept 19-21

i finally talked to him. it felt great. i can talk to him when i want. i have texted him quite often. haha


but this past weekend was well...magnificant. it was hot all weekend and we were camped in the sun all weekend. but it was still amazing. the venders were of plenty. much to choose from, although i didnt get any pictures of them. i was saving the camera batteries and space for the battles and the guys.


theres alot of pictures. far to many to really put in a blog entry. i dont know quite how to add an album. but when i do they will all be there. haha. but ill put a select few of the really good ones up.


anyway. we left for indiana around 730-8 friday night. and didnt get to Ko Ko Mah till around 530am our time. crazy yes. but it was so much fun. we unpacked everything and were still awake around 630 or 7am indiana time when the new guys who followed some what close behind us arrived. some didnt sleep and just stayed up till it was time to get up. others tried to sleep.


me and sam woke up late because her alarm didnt go off and well it was cold in the morning so we didnt get out of bed. but i woke up to the best view i could have ever gotten. chris. haha he was in me and sams tent getting some uniform equipment. haha it was quite a site and i wish that someday i could wake up to that face.


he came in and out of the tent ever so often. i got up before he came in again and stumbled out towards the door before i thought he would come in again. and i peeped out since i was not really dressed. when i opened the flap the guys were all lined up and staring towards the tent i was like, well goodness golly gracious.


saturday went on like any other day really. i flirted with the boys. hung out with derek, jimmy, and geoff most of the time. fanned the boys after each battle and in between other hours. i got a picture of me and derek pretending to kiss and be all weird. haha. well ok. Vicki has it to show dereks girlfriend, her daughter, what fun he was having without her. haha it was harmless fun.


wasnt to flirty with chris but i made an attempt to give it all i had. either way it was interesting. Saturday was a long day. 80+ degrees all day. and there were 2 battles that day. and lets just say that the men or boys i could say ,lol, were wiped out. there was a night fire saturday night. i thought it was supposed to be like a night battle. cool right? no it was cannon firing! which in its own way was pretty sweet.
Chris, Zac, and Evan fell asleep around 730pm that night and they slept right thru the night firing! it was crazy! cause we were right next to the field where that was happening. we got a picture of them sleeping. haha.

sunday wasnt much. same thing pretty much, except we only had one battle that day. at one point in the day pretty much everyone was sitting in the marquise chillin trying to stay in the only shade that we had. haha. Vicki was outside with Lesley and Chris fitting him for a royals coat of his own. and i look out and i snickered "ha a royal fit" and my mom goes "no its a bi**h fit" cause well it was vicki and we joke around like that. moms like "go get a picture" so i walk out and told him what all the laughter in the tent was. and hes like well i like it. i took a picture and then lesley told me to get one with him! i was like OMG!! but i did it. i tried to be level headed and what not but thats difficult. haha.

off and on i talked to him and the rest of the guys. got some sweet action pictures of the battles. and had some good times with the guys.
so that was Ko Ko Mah....

Highland Illinois...

was a very different event. well it wasnt really an event it was more of a craft fair kinda thing. or a redneck reunion. it was quite fun. i surely enjoyed it more than i thought i would when i first pulled up... but let me say one thing...redneck doesnt cut it. haha. there was a tractor parade. from like the first to todays...lol i have some pretty sweet pictures of the old ones. they were freaking huge if i do say so myself....

the guys where talking under the tree and just chillin then the french came in and started drilling and the funniest thing ever was that Dad, Alex, Zac and Greg flew out of their chairs as if they had gotten shot at and fell to the ground all at the same time. it wasnt even planned thats what was so funny about it.

then the french commandor walked over and started to poke at the "dead" guys on the ground making sure they got them good. haha..

they definately had a good time playing along with the french. zacs got a huge smile on his face.

Emily, Yoshi and i made scone for the guys and everyone else. it was fun. and Yoshi is so sweet.

thats pretty much all saturday was. a parade of tractors and the few reenactors that were there...

other than that it was crafts

a day at camp DuBois....

work day that is... haha...looks like my dad, my older brother, Jimmy, and my younger brother josh know how to have fun...with sharp...pointy...objects of danger