first kiss? but in a dream =*[

so last night i had some wacky cooky dreams.
and the one that stood out to me..was..

MY FIRST KISS!!! <--- that is what we should call it. =]




so it starts out like im playing a video game, except the fact that im in the game...=/
and me and my friends are driving a mini van, well more of a hippie van! GO 60's!!
and then we were on this windy road in the middle of a jungle thingy.
and you know that game wack a mole?

well this time it was alligators and we had to
drive over them and try to not hit them depending on their size.
well by middle of my dream it was me all by myself and i was running and having to
swim from these alligators. i was very fast. thank you VERY much. and so i got to this island
and there was a house type of thing.

(((lord cain was the one to see the dark human dolls...)))


^and if some of you have read godchild you will understand what i say... i walked into a back room where i woman stood and she said if u wanna see your friends they are right in here. so i followed her...she led me into a room with two large tables and on top were tarps with funny bulges underneath and i thought omg what has she done!!!
she pulled the covers off them and they looked very much the same just not breathing and i started crying. and one of them gets up off the table and comes to me and he says please dont cry we are all right. see she has done us a favor. we can live forever. and it made me worse. he felt hollow.

then outta no where he looked at me in that way that i melted. and i kissed him.
but it felt like i was kissing a robot. and i didnt like it. till some how i had the feeling that they were pretending to have turned or whatever so that she wouldnt kill them.
and then he kissed me for real. like as if that kiss turned him human 100%
and thats when i woke up. i couldnt take it anymore.
im so sick of my kisses being in my dreams. and getting married in my dreams.
but in those i cant see the persons face. its like a huge blank.

but this one was just so real. i wish that it could have been..



thats one thing i hate about being a hopeless romantic.
i just keep dreaming of my happiness and it never comes.
i havent held a guys hand. i havent been that close to a guy.
i just feel empty inside and it makes me cry.

maybe in my dream the hollow-ness of him was how i feel.
and him kissing me was just a mirrage.
im done. i have a spa to get ready for later.
i cant take remembering my dreams. they really bum me out...